by Cathy Cove
copyright - Goderich Signal Star

Typically this is the silly season when parents find themselves on the receiving end of way too many tips on how best to prepare themselves for the educational experience alongside their child.

Whether trusting a child to the school system for the very first time, or continuing to progress through the secondary and post-secondary experience, free, and usually unsolicited, advice comes in a myriad of forms.

It manifests itself via mainstream media, government, education experts, administrations, independent organizations, and from other parents.
Each new school year parents receive a litany of information through school handbooks and newsletters that express the expectations the system has of the parent and their child(ren).

Rarely, if ever do governments, school boards, or individual schools give parents an idea of what they can expect from teachers, principals, school board in return.
With that in mind, I issued an invitation via email to several seasoned parents (those who no longer have children in the school system).

I asked them what advice they would give to parents who, like their children, are returning to school this September.

Here’s what they had to say.
LISTEN TO YOUR CHILD – Parents know their child best, so trust your instincts.
Be attentive to what your child has to say each and every day.

Never put off a concern or question where your child’s learning is concerned.
Effective schools welcome knowing that you’re interested in how your child is doing.
If questions aren’t dealt with, keep on asking.

“If the system continues to be slow to respond parents should be prepared to act quickly when things don’t appear to be improving for your child” advises Etobicoke parent Doretta Wilson.

LEARN THE SYSTEM – parents need to know the hierarchy of authority and the process of communicating with the school and school board.
Parents advise that the best relationships to nurture during their education experience are;

1) The Teacher – this is the individual your child will spend most of their time with and the one who will most affect the learning outcome of your child.
Keeping the two-way flow of communication open is as much the responsibility of the parent as it is of your child’s teacher.
Just as teachers know that parents vary in competence, parents need to get used to a wide variety of teacher quality. Some are excellent, inspirational subject masters. Others simply are not.

2) The School Secretary – “Make the school secretary your best friend” says Annie Kidder of People for Education. “The most under estimated source of information at the school,” Kidder adds that school secretaries are at the hub of the hierarchy in the school. There is much a parent can learn and depend on from them.
The secretary is the traffic cop of the school. He/she knows where to go, who to talk to and how to access your child.

The school secretary is a great indicator of the school environment as a whole. As the usual first contact a parent has when entering the school, the manner and tone of the secretary provides a clue as to the atmosphere in general.

While teachers and principals come and go, parents can count on the school secretary to remain a constant stabilizing force at the school.

3) Elected representatives – School board trustees and school councils are first and foremost accountable to their constituents. That means they are governed by law or regulation to represent parents at the school and board table. Parents should know who is representing them and what is being said on their behalf.

Similarly, school councils and trustees are a direct reflection of their communities and should hear from parents regularly.

The concern by many parents of late is that overly prescriptive and hands-on government involvement is eroding the connection trustees have with their school communities. Keeping in touch will ensure that that doesn’t happen.

Parents advise that a good way to measure the effectiveness of a school council is to find out how often the council is approached for or offers advice, and how that advice is used (or not).

4) Other parents – Developing a network with other parents is essential. “Nine times out of ten, other parents in your child’s class are wondering about the same thing” says Mary Lee Halverson, a Toronto parent.

Thanks to pioneer parent advocates in Ontario, parents can now identify both the opportunities and roadblocks that the school system can present. Parents are also becoming much better at organizing their voices in a way that makes their perspective just as valid as that of other stakeholders.

Parents should never be intimidated or bullied into their involvement by other parents. Each and every parent gets involved in the way they feel most comfortable.
Good schools set the tone of inclusiveness from the minute one walks into the school.

No arm-twisting or grant money is needed to peak parent involvement at these schools. Most parents do not wish to be bought in this way, especially when the money could be better used for the students in the classroom.

By far, the best piece of advice seasoned Oakville parent Susan Chronowic has to offer other parents is – “Enjoy the ride!!

“It’s over WAY TOO fast!!!”
I tend to agree.